I have three hours to kill before work and I came to my boyfriend’s school library to figure out this whole finishing my degree thing, but I was rushed out the door since my boyfriend doesn’t like it when I prep my purse and stuff right before we go to bed (since it keeps him up) so of course I forget my notebook with all the info I need, my cell phone, and various other things.
I’m sort of overwhelmed and bewildered and my meds have not kicked in, and I’m still slowly waiting for my coffee to kick in. I’m feeling really insecure and nervous and I really wanted to try to get this done. I turned down my foster aunt’s offer of helping me figure out what to do, becuase I have been getting better and I wanted to see if I could stop using her as a crutch. What I used to do was use the fear of being judged by her motivate me to get things done, but fear is not sustainable and I want to be able to get things done without being afraid and without believing I’m a piece of shit.
I want to get my degree finished. I should have formally taken the year off instead of just randomly leaving my school during finals week and never coming back. I have all these broken pieces and just trying to pick them without feeling like I’m a loser is difficult.
I can barely get out the door in the mornings, but I know I’m getting better, just way too slowly for my liking. I can’t be working shitty minimum wage jobs forever, I want a career in Web Development, I want to do Freelance Graphic Design, I want to write books, and draw pictures and make beautiful things for people, since the creative process is where I’m most happy.
If I don’t get my degree I will have to work 60 hours a week of minimum wage working just to get by, and I don’t want that. I”ve seen my dad juggle two, three jobs with shifts that crazy and he’s slowly killing himself, he’s been doing all that for me to get my degree. I just….I can’t afford to doubt myself you know? I have to believe I can do this, because giving up will guarantee failure.
Jonathan, 55: There is no such thing as “the only one”. You will meet lots of “the ones”. Only commit when the timing is right for the both of you – that can take years for some, and that’s okay.
Miranda, 24: Drop pre-med.
Isaac, 48: Deodorant does not count as a shower, and that haircut only looked good on Bon Jovi.
Anya, 42: Make the conscious decision to be happy, and then stick with it. Society will do everything in its power to convince you that your personal happiness is dependent on something external – beauty, success, wealth, etc. – it isn’t.
Parker, 55: 60% of the things you think are important now won’t matter a whit to you by the time you reach 50. The trick is to figure out the important 40% and work it.
Megan, 34: He doesn’t love you, and you will be okay.
Peter, 58: Don’t let anything stand in your way of taking part (or all) of your junior year abroad. You’ll never again have quite the same opportunity to experience a foreign land, for an extended period of time, in your youth. It is destined to be one of the most memorable aspects of your life.
Eleanor, 67: Talk less. Listen more.
Donald, 27: There’s a huge difference between who you want to be and who everyone around you wants you to be. Figure out which is which.
Camille, 56: Always remember: when falling off a horse, pull your tongue in.
Jackson, 57: No one knows anything for sure. They’re all just doing the best they can with what they have, just like you.
Vicki, 47: You’ll never have all the answers, so make every question count.
Donald, 38: You don’t have to grow up to be the dad you never had.
Katelyn, 30: Make the most out of college. You will never again be at a place where your only goal is to learn. Learn a lot, learn often, and learn with reckless abandon.
Joshua, 55: Women love to laugh.
Annabelle, 38: Drugs are not beautiful, glamorous or opulent. They are not a remedy, a solution, a cure-all, or a cure-anything.
Colin, 50: You miss so much life when you sleep until 3 PM. Wake up to see sunrises; they are the most stunning of nature’s masterpieces.
Eleanor, 26: Eating two pints of ice cream won’t make you happy. Neither will sprinting 10 miles. Be nice to yourself.
Aaron, 52: Don’t forget to ask that girl in the Oberlin library what kind of perfume she’s wearing. You’ll buy it for her in 20 years.
Scarlett, 54: Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Those that get you will love you, those that don’t, well, their loss. Just remember: Wherever you are, it’s a party.
Zack, 9: I hope you’re awesome. And be nice to girls.
What Anya, Donald (27), Eleanor and Scarlett said.
Oh my gosh, Aaron and Zack’s responses are so cute!
There are a lot of dolls owned by others that I think are personally quite unattractive and would never want, but it doesn’t matter because I’m not the one that bought it or was commissioned to make it. The owner is happy. Why should it bother me? Is that really such a hard concept to grasp?
I hopped on the bus this morning on a route I wasn’t familiar with. Arrived at the doctors an hour early so I hung out at the diner across the street. (haven’t been since middle school, it was super nostalgic, but instead if chocolate milkshakes, I had coffee) paid for my appointment like a boss and scheduled a full physical check up and pap smear. (whoop safe sex health!) I have only had one sexual partner and we were both virgins so its highly unlikely we have STDs but its better to be safe then sorry!
Oh and did I mention this all happened with a primary care doctor I found and arranged for myself?
Fuck you depression! I can do things! Responsible things!
I tried to make a cute cream collared button down blouse for my azone girl and it just failed miserably. On one hand I think I finally figured out how facing works (It took what, like 50 tries?) but I didn’t leave enough seam allowance so she can’t even wear it. ;___________;
Wait, so if I'm a WOC and I'm not attracted to black men, at all whatsoever, but I am attracted to other races, I'm being racist?
Yes you’re being anti-black as hell. There are hundreds of millions of black men on the planet, you seriously going to look me in the eye and tell me that they’re all ugly then you have an aversion to blackness. The only thing they all share in common is the fact that they are black. That’s anti-black as hell. You being a woman of colour doesn’t mean you can’t perpetuate anti-blackness.
I am not a waste of space, I am not a leech to society
I am trying to get the courage to live my life as fully as I can. I got up early today. I ate breakfast today, I got dressed, and made myself presentable today. I did laundry, dishes, cleaned all four cat boxes, made the bed, and folded and put away one load of clean laundry. I even filled the water bottles without being asked since my boyfriend is doing homework and drinks his weight in water.
The room is still in shambles, my stuff is in garbage bags and piles on the floor, the wardrobe my boyfriend’s mom let me use is stuffed with piles of unsorted crap, and I still haven’t taken out the trash and recycling. I’m also paralyzed in fear over doing things related to going back to school, but I did things today. I did things today so maybe it’s okay for me to be here.
student:hey government can I have some money to go to university
uk government:sure here you go. you'll have to pay it back but only when you're earning £21,000+ a year, and if you don't pay it off after 30 years we'll just write it off, don't worry about it man
scottish government:nah man just go to uni we ain't gonna charge you
us government:no. you gotta pay it yourself. upfront. your parents have to save up from the moment you're born. good luck, fucker. you have six months after graduating to start paying loans so you better pray to fucking god and jesus that you have a well-paying job by then or be prepared to be fucked up the ass without lube.
I wasn’t expecting her until next week but she came today!
I won’t take pics since I want to wait until her Licca head arrives but I’M SUPER EXCITED MAN! The dress I made fits her perfectly, and she’s so adorable. I will admit, I’m a little dissapointed with her posability, but that must be why she was so cheap, she’s an older model so she doesn’t have a torso joint.
I guess that is one thing you have to keep in mind with azone dolls. Obitsu’s are far more posable but aesthetically azone’s look more realistic. I am impressed with the quality of the plastic and the weight, as well as the sculpting. Her calves look so real and her toenails are actually carved in which is cool.
I also have a question…how the heck do you change her hands? She didn’t come with extra hands but I want to get more eventually…and after observing them they are really stuck in there.
Persephone as a dark and off-putting goddess who worries her mother by hanging out with satyrs and making weird stuff like pitcher plants and Venus flytraps. Hades being charmed and intimidated all at once.